The Great Nigerian Internet Scam
and the fun you can have with it

Some scams are so good that you just want to get involved. This one wasn't even sent direct to me but to my mailbox at work. I loved it so much I just had to drop them a line.

Dear Beloved,

It is a privileged to hear from God and it gives me joy to relate my testimony to you haven received instruction from God through divine revelation. And I have the pleasure to share my testimony with you, having seen your contact from the Internet. I am Don Richard, the legal adviser to late Mr. David duke couple that lived in my Country Nigeria for 32 years before they both died in the plane crash late last year.

These couples were good Christians, they so dedicated to God but they had no child till they died. Throughout their stay in my country, they acquired a lot of properties like lands, house properties, etc. As their legal adviser, before their death, the husband Mr.Mark instructed me to write his WILL. Because they had no child, they dedicated their wealth to God. According to the WILL, the properties have to be sold and the money be given out to a ministry for the work of God. As their legal adviser, all the documents for the properties were in my care. He gave me the authority to sell the properties and give out the fund to the Ministries for the work of God.

In short, after their death, I sold all the properties as instructed and I was able to realized $16million US

dollars). Instead of giving the fund out for the work of God as instructed by the owner before his death, I converted the fund to myself with the intention of investing the fund abroad for my personal use. I was afraid of putting the fund in the Bank, because I have to give account to the bank on how I got the money. I then packaged the fund in consignments and deposited the consignments with a security company. I did not want the management of the Security Company to know the content of the consignments, therefore I registered the content of the consignments as Gold

Bars. Now, the security company believes that what I deposited with them was Gold Bars.

I had encounter with Christ when Pastor Paul was preaching the word of God on television. After hearing the word of God, I gave my life to Christ and became a
born again Christian. As a born again Christian, I started reading my bible and one day, the Lord opened my eyes and I discovered that the only way I could
have peace in my life is to do what is lawful and right by giving out the fund as instructed for the work of God by the owner before his death.

I have asked God for forgiveness and I know that God have forgiven me. But I have to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God by giving out the fund to
the chosen ministry for the purpose of God\'s work as instructed by the owner before his death.

After my fasting and prayers, I asked God to make his choice and direct me to a honest Christian or the chosen ministry that deserves this fund by his Grace.
I then came across your address on the Internet as I was browsing through a Christian site, so this is howI got your contact information, and I then decided to
contact you for the fund to be used wisely for things that will glorify the name of God.

I have notified the Security Company where I deposited the consignments that contained the fund, that I am moving the consignment abroad and the security company has since been waiting for my authority for the consignment to leave my country and move to abroad. So if you know that you will use this fund honestly
for things that will glorify God\'s name, then do urgently contact me back first through this my alternative email address only donrichard@collegeclub.com
and the details will be given to you on how you will be able to receive the fund in your country through the security company.

You should also forward to me your telephone and fax number for easy communication and to fax you the documents concerning the consignments.

Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.

Yours in Christ.

Barrister Don Richard
donrichard@collegeclub.com

Now how you get my work e-mail address "browsing through a Christian site" I don't know. I suppose it is on a list of possible live e-mail addresses and they just send this stuff out randomly. Or maybe it is God's will ?
Anyway, time to for his "beloved" to reply. (Does anyone else think I am going to be conversing with Golem from Lord of the Ring ? - sorry, that was "my precious")

Barrister Don

How fortuitous that you should write to me. I understand your dilema and see that you are a good man who deserves help in his hour of need. Perhaps we
might even say the almighty himself has directed your message to me ?

I will gladly furnish you with the details you require although it will be Sunday before I am able to take your call as I am travelling away on business at the moment. Once Sunday comes I will endeavour to give the matter my fullest attention and we will work together to remove the burden this money is placing you under.

My telephone number is +23 0123 288 291. I don't bother with fax since most of my business is by e-mail.

P

What a kind person I am - the burden of all those lovely gold bars is too much for one person to handle. It is only christian of me to offer my hand in a generous gesture of help.

Dear Phil,

Greetings to you in the precious Name of our Dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ Who died on the cross for our sins but rose victoriously from the dead.

I received your response regarding my God's Will message sent to you, and I thank you very much for allowing the Lord to use you for your God-kind loving concern regarding this transaction, and I believe that you will be felt honored by God to be a steward of His resources to extend the Kingdom of God. As you should know that we can never repay God for His love, grace and mercy, we certainly want to do something to express our gratitude to God, we want to love God. That is why you and me are at the altar of sacrifice. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for
us to do (Eph. 2:8-10).

I know you will be surprised to receive my mail but remember the Bible says, the blessing of God comes supernaturally and it is through divine favor, and you should also be noted that blessing and honour can only come to the people who appreciate the gift and blessing of God. So after I received instruction from God to use this funds to do His work which also is the initial instruction given to me by the owner before his death. I prayed to God for direction and He has been directing me. I told God that I want a ministry, an honest man or woman of God who will spend the fund wisely for things that will glorify His name.

However, this fund is deposited in a security company and i have happily made up my mind to donate $16musd, I will be faxing them your information fronting you to be the new owner of the fund as soon as I get your address and tel number please tell me when you will be free to travel to holland to clear the consignment from the security company, so that i can fax you the necessary documents to enable the security company release the consignment where the fund is being kept for you on my behalf. please respond to this email urgently.

Regards,
Barrister Don
+234-1-7760885

I'm not theologiona but I bet there is nothing in the Bible about ripping people off. If there is I bet it doesn't say nice things about it. Possibly this comes under the "Thou shalt not steal" commandment with a side order of not coveting my neighbours Ox.

I feel it only fair to try and ape Barrister Don's style of prose. Who do you think teaches them to write this stuff ?

Barrister Don

How good to hear from you again. It is not often I am blessed with the chance to engage in one as godly as yourself in this cruel and evil world.

I must profer my humble appologies for my sloth in replying to you for I have been away working. However I am now returned and looking forward to

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assisting you in amy way possible.

My address is:

The Manse
Green Court
Cantebury
England
Telephone: +23 0123 288 291

As reguards a trip to Holland, I have been there several times and would welcome the opportunity to visit again. I am happy to leave myself in your
hands as to the timing.

P

Those familair with Cantebury will recognise this address as Cantebury Cathedral. Of course I don't actually live there (couldn't afford the heating bills and anyway, gothis is soooo last century) but I don't suppose God has bothered telling Don that.

Dear Beloved,

Thank you very much for your mail and you are welcome. I will want you to please get in touch with the security company so as to let them know the exact date of your arrival. I have forwarded to them your information as the beneficiary of the consignment where the funds are. The funds are register as family treasure and deposited in their security vault for safekeeping, the reason why this is done in this manner is to avoid C.O.T (cost of transfer) which the bank here says they will take, and the procedure here requires a lot.

If they aware of your arrival date, they will have to pick you up at the airport with their official car so that they take you direct to their office, right there, they will give you their receiving form so that you sign before clearance of the consignment where the funds are, you will have to open a non-residential account in Holland with the help of the security company's account department officials so as to assist you lodge in the money. Mr. Kobe Young is the officer in charge of the consignment, and is telephone is +31630662083 of Patrinuim Securities & Finance (www.patrinuim.com).

Get in touch with him so as to let him know when exactly you are coming over, as you may know for now that the security company officials do not know what exactly that is inside the boxes, it was scanned over here by their sister company before it was ship and deposited as family treasure, so as to avoid them not to temper it. I will want you to clear it out first before you ask for their assist
on how to lodge in the money into the bank.

I will send to you the request document which the security company Might request from you for you to come long with.Call me for voice discussion on this number +234-1-7760885.

Stay blessed,
Don.

Come on Don, get down the travel agents and get me some tickets ! Oh, well, I suppose I will have to go and get them myself.

Check out www.patrinuim.com though. It really is awful. I particularly love the animation on the right hand side. If you didn't know this was a scam you might think this is just a really dreadful site but I wouldn't try and use their services. In case you wondered, the URL is registered to:

Private, Registration PATRINUIM.COM@domainsbyproxy.com
Domains by Proxy, Inc.
15111 N Hayden Rd., Suite 160
PMB353
Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
United States
(480) 624-2599

Don

Thank you for these details. I will arrange travel immediately. Is there any particular date you would prefer for me to arrive ? Obviously I won't travel on a Sunday although I would like to take the opportunity to worship with you. Perhaps this could be seen a blessing this transaction.

Please send me the request document so I might take the time to complete it fully. I have learned to be wary of filling paperwork in in a hurry as it always seems to mean that something is wrong or there is a supporting document missing which causes officials (many of whom are the agents of Satan) to question or refuse to accept that that is provided to them.

I think it would also be wise for us to swap photographs so we can recognise each other when we meet. If you could send a small image of yourself with the form, I will reciprocate with a copy of my passport when I send you a copy of my completed form. I hope this is permissible, as it will assist in building a deep bond of trust. Since we are to be partners, we should know a little bit more about each other.

May blessing rain down on you from high.

P

If Don is going to keep calling me his Beloved, we had better bond (in a purely platonic way obviously) and what better way than with a photograph ?

Dear Phil,

Thank you very much for your mail. Sorry for replying so late, I have had busy time in my chamber yesterday and today. Attached is a scanned copy of my international passport and the certificate of deposit that will be requested by the security company in Holland, I do not have any form to send to you, but the security company will give you that as soon as you get to their office in Amsterdam-Holland for you to fill and sign the receiving form.

The company in Amsterdam promised to get in touch with you yesterday so as to know when you are coming to clear the consignment which the funds are in, please confirm to me if they have done that or you have to call them right away to let them know.
Do get in touch with me as soon as you get this mail through telephone.I have been trying to call you but I am finding it difficult to get through.
So please, do call me on.....+234-1-7760885.
I am expecting your call.
Thanks and God bless.

Don Richard.

Look Don, the only chamber you have been busy in is a chamber pot 'cos this stuff is bull*@%t. Still, nice of you to send a passport photo. Anyone out there want to bond with Don ? Nope, didn't think so. I'm not suprised the number isn't working as I made it up. You think he'd get the idea wouldn't you ?

The certificate isn't bad. Much better than the normal DTP tosh you get from these guys. Is it likely that this is as good a golden ticket from Wonka's chocolate factory ? Well, my name's not Charlie Bucket...

From the "security" company I also recieved:

ATTN:Phil Parker


We wish to inform the above name person that we have a consignment mark as a DIPLOMATIC BAGGAGE is in our custody . We wish to confirm that we have a consignment in your favour.

You are therefore invited to our office here in Amsterdam for the collection this consignment.Be advised to come with the following upon your arrival here:

1.Your international passport or driver's license for proof of identification.

2.Copies of the certificate of deposit and letter of authority from the depositor.

3.The sum of Eighteen Thousand Euros as Demurrage ,Custom Clearance and handling charges.This has to be in cash in order to facilitate the delivery of the consignment to you.

Ensure you notify us of you arrival date so that we can have an appointment for you to endorse our release documents and also send one of our officials to pick you up from the airport and bring you to our office.

For any further clarification do not hesitate to contact the undersigned.

Yours faithfully,
Kobe Young
+31 630 830 991

So all I need to get my money is the form above, my passport and a load of cash. I wonder why they don't take plastic ? Perhaps Don can help out.

Don

Thanks for the documents. I will make travel arrengements forthwith.

I am a little concerned as it seems the holder of the package only seems to take cash. In this day and age I would expect that they would take some sort of platic payment card. It is possible that this organisation is a front for some sort of illegal activity. Are you sure thay still have the goods ? I would hate to think of your money having been stolen !

Thank you also for your passport. I have attached a copy of my own one.

Many blessings

P

Now I wish I had thought of this mail earlier:

Don

Excellent news !

I have been trying to call you all day but have been unable to get through - your telephone has been engaged. but I suppose you must be a very busy man.

A friend of mine who was due to travel to Holland this weekend has had to cancel his trip. Hearing of his predicament I ceased the opportunity at once to acquire his ticket.

I will arrive at Amsterdam airport at 6.30PM Dutch time tomorrow, Friday 13th February. Departure Hall one. I don't have a flight number yet as I pick up the ticket tomorrow morning.

I proffer my humblest apologies for the short notice of my trip and will understand if you are unable to meet me. However it seemed that God is indeed smiling on our transaction. I am sure I will be able to find Patrinuim from the details on their website during my stay over the weekend.

Fortunately I have been able to get everything ready in time. Anticipating the Lords movements I had already arranged the documents and money yesterday.

I hope to see you in Amsterdam, if you can get to the airport, please wait for me outside the arrivals gate with a card marked "Phil Parker" so I can recognise you. Nice big letters please as I have just bought new spectacles and am having a few problems with them.

I will try your number again on my arrival in the Neatherlands, however my friend assures me there is an internet connection in the hotel, so please e-mail me as well and I will pick up my messages tomorrow night.

Bless you and our transaction.

P

This idea was sparked by a colleague heading off for a romantic trip to Amsterdam. I knew someone who would be flying in so I thought "why not get this muppet to turn up at the airport holding a big sign. The new specs' bit is true though. Just to be on the safe side I sent something to the "Security" company.

Dear Mr Young

Thanks to a friends cancelled trip to Holland, I will be arriving at 6:30PM Dutch time at Amsterdam airport, Hall one, tomorrow - Friday 13th February. I'm sorry I don't have a flight number yet as I collect the ticket tomorrow.

If you wish to meet me at the airport, please have a nice big sign marked "Phil Parker" - I have just been fitted for new spectacles and am having trouble with them.

I appreciate that this is very short notice and am happy to make my own way to your office on Saturday if meeting me is impossible.

P

How disappointed was I to receive:

Dear Phil,

It is unfortunate that i can not go to Amsterdam with out any arrangement, you have to call the security company so as to book appointment with them so that they can attend to you, if not for that reason, they will not attend to you.

Please call me or bring a number so that i can call you now or tomorrow morning.

I awaiting your urgent reply now.

Stay blessed,
Don

WHAT ! Don spends his life sitting around ripping people off and can't be bothered shift his sorry backside down to the airport to meet me. OK I should have sent the mail a few days earlier. No one turned up at the airport despite and eager associate looking out for them. Oh well, I suppose I better let him know I've been.

Don

I'm sorry you couldn't meet me in Amsterdam. Fortunately I know the city well from previous visits. On Saturday I was able to find PATRINUIM by using the details on their web site (actually I was helped by a local taxi driver. He says that lots of people turn up trying to find PATRINUIM, and they all see to be carrying briefcases !)

Anyway, I found the place and was made most welcome and treated in a very professional way. They checked my details, which were all found to be in order. Once I handed over the fee, they presented me with the case that they described as "Diplomatic baggage". I asked to open it in private to recheck all was in correct, they provided facilities for this.

Once I opened the case I was amazed by what I saw - I have never seen so much money. When I left the security company you can be sure I was beseeching God to look after me !

Anyway, I am now returned to the UK and have placed the case containing the money in my bank for safe keeping. I have asked them to hold the case rather than put the cash through an account as I don't want to alert anyone. I am also making arrangements to open what we call an offshore account where discretion is assured so the money can enter the banking system.

So Don, God is smiling on this transaction. Once I have banked the money, all I need to do is transfer it to you minus my share. How do you want to proceed with this ?

Stay lucky

P

Ha ! He wasn't expecting that. No one expects the scam to come off ! I doubt anyone else has come back and said they have the money. (For those who are struggling with the concept, there is no money, it is a scam). What is supposed to happen is:

Phil arrives at airport and meeting grinning idiot Barrister Don
Barrister Don bashes Phil on the head.
Barrister Don runs off with the money and is never seen again.

Strangely Don now goes quiet.

Don

I have managed to move the money to an offshore account thanks to the help
of a fellow Christian who also works for a bank.

Apparently all I need from you is some account details and I can arrange for
the transfer of your money. If you'd like to furnish me with these then I'll
get things started.

Perhaps you would like to come to the UK to help celebrate ?

Look forward to hearing from you.

P

I wonder if I will ever hear from Barrister Don again ?