Someone must be smiling down on me as I opened my in-box the other day to find:

From: Mrs Serena Jones
PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USED IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr. Harry Jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Co
ast for nine years before he died in the year 2000.
We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$8.6Million (Eight Million six hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) with one finance/security company in Amsterderm Holland. Presently, this money is still with the Security Company.

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Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most i s my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this fund to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don?t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don?t want my husband?s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don?t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case
and I shall hold my peace. I don?t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health because of the pres
ence of my husband?s relatives around me always. I don?t want them to know about this development. With God all things are p
ossible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company in Amsterderm Holland. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always
pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a chuch or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hoping to hearing from you.
N.B-
PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN HOLLAND IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE' S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS NAME, THE LAWYER'S NAME IS PAULSON,PHONE NUMBER IS 00-31-630-854-650.
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Serena Jones

God must really love me to point such a generous offer my way. Obviously I am in a much better position than Mrs Jones who has really ticked all the boxes on the checklist of bad things to happen to you. Still, $8.6 million will be well worth having and I'm sure I can spend it wisely.

 

Dear Serena

This sounds like a very interesting offer.

If you wish me to take care of the money, I will be happy to do so. I promise to use it in a very useful manner.

Thank you

Philidephus van Airfix

Generous to a fault aren't I ?

My Beloved,

Calvary greetings in the name of the almighty God.
I received your mail and must commend your sence of urgengy and the need and desire to help make this dream a reality.
I will rather start like this,if the God i worship says you are the one that will make this dream a reality,then who are my to quetion him.

Unfortunately I would say that your mail was a bit scanty in the sence that your bio-data was said nothing about.I need to know this
to be sure of whom I am dealing with okay.I will ensure that I send you my picture in subsequent mails which you will keep for remembrance.

Nevertheless, I would like you to understand that this particular funds has to be transferred to you in the next seven(7)days from
now.I would also not want my late husband's relatives to be aware that I am donating this funds because they may decide to abandon
me to my faith now especially that my health is deteriorating.

I want you also to understand that volunteering to assist in this course is not just the issue. I sincerely want you to pray before
undertaking to take this responsibility. PLEASE do not see this as a money making venture but rather as a task which you are carrying out for kingdom expansion.That is why my late husband insisted that it must be donated in places of like churches,orphanages and old peoples home.

I will ensure that I call you and will also detail a nursing assistant in the hospital where I stay in Shuaiba to call you once in a while
if I do not call due to the presence of my late hussbands muslim believers.

Note also that your response is needed today unfailingly so that I can know the way forward.

Until I hear from you, my future plans rest on your shoulders.

Regards

Mrs serena Jones


N.B-PLEASE NO ONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT IT, FOR SECURITY REASONS. AS YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD ARE BAD AND MIGHT WANT TO PLAN EVIL FOR YOU. SO PLEASE KEEP IT AS A SECRETE AND PRAY ALWAYS.

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"My Beloved" ? I'm warming to Serena already. Sounds like I've pulled here ! Not sure what "Calvary greetings" are though. Surely this must involve armies on horseback or something. Do I really want to be greeted by that ? Apparently I've not provided enough bio-data. This just makes no sense since it is a little difficult to pass any sort of bodily fluid accross the web (if you know different, please don't tell me as I don't care what sort of site offers this service). Good to see this scammer is putting the pressure on to seal the deal quickly.

 

Serena

Calvary greetings to you. I prayed that the winged gods of the internet would safely transport my message to you in time and they did. Truely our communications fly on gossamer wings.

I am not sure what bio-data you are looking for. If it helps I have strawberry blond hair and my blood type is d rhesus negative according to my doctor who is a good man and not the sort to lie to me. I am generally fit and full of the sterling power of the lord.

However, since you are of poor health I appreciate the need to perform this transaction as quickly as possible. If it helps I am happy to perform all the hard work myself. If you can give me the details of the account the money resides in I can arrange for it to be transferred so it can start performing marvelous works as quickly as possible.

If that is not to your liking, I am sure that I can find some good people in Kuwait who can assist with localised money transfer. I am concerned that transfers out of the country may attract unwanted attention from those who would steal a precious gift and use it for their own selfish ends. To have this completed by the end of the week should be easy to arrange as our chapel has many contacts.

Do not worry about my shoulders supporting this burden, they are strong enough.

Philidephus van Airfix

Those with any medical knowledge will doubtless be fascinated by my bio-data which contains a few inconsistencies. If you don't you will appreciate the rubbish the message contains - it seemed a shame not to communicate in pseudo religious gibberish after all the effort by "Serena".

Dear Phil Parker ,
How are you Sir and how is everything going? especially your family. I hope they are all in good condition. I want to tell you that the
Almighty has singled you out for this task and whatever you do is been recorded for you in Heavenly purposes.

I want this funds to get to you atleast in the next seven working days because that is perhaps what its going to take the Finance House to release the funds to you and that this can be achieved if you give it the seriousness that it deserves. I want you to call
the finance house or write them now and tell them about this funds which they are holding and you want to know the modalities of what to do to claim the funds.

Please for your notice, the Finance Company's Contact is as follows

PINACLE SECURITY COMPANY.

Email- info_pinacles@financier.com

N.B- PLEASE CONTACT THEM IMMEDIATELY AND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE SOLE BENEFICIARY OF THIS FUNDS THAT HAS BEEN WITH THEM OR BETTER STILL GIVE THE CONTACT PERSON A CALL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. HE IS THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS/DELIVERY, BY NAME CHRIS THOMPSON AND HIS PERSONAL PHONE NUMBER REMAINS 0031-627-196-655

Oh, and she sent some pictures as well:

 
Harry Jones
Serena Jones
Harry Jones (RIP)
Serena Jones (RIP any day now apparently)

 

What a lovely couple. I didn't bother replying to the last mail. Perhaps the spirit of the Lord had left me for someone more worthy or maybe the tone of this mail has changed and we are getting more business like. Incidentally, financier.com doesn't exist as a web site although it is registered to:

Easylink Services Corporation
Easylink DNS Services
33 Knightsbridge Road
Piscataway NJ 08854
US
Phone: 732-652-3930

If someone wants to give them a ring and let me know how you get on, I'd love to know.

Dear Mr Phil Parker
how are you today i hope all is well with you and your family,for me i am not too fine because i told you before that i am verly sick.well i will like to send to you my pic and allso get one of yours befor i can able to send to you the document you will need to contact
the company in holland.pls as soon as you get this mail pls do get back to me for the document.

thank

mother serena

"Mother Serena" ? At the start of this exchange she and her hubby hadn't had any kids so either she's a fast worker or is now elevating herself up the hierarchy in a nunnery.

Serena

My family are fine. Sorry you are feeling a bit under the weather but I'm sure this will pass.

Talking of things that will pass, you will of course excuse the fact that my interest in your scheme has passed. You see you are very popular in the web. A quick search shows that you have had seven days to live for several months. You've also offered this deal to many people.

Who are you are you really ?

P

If you are feeling keen, a quick search of Goggle for "Serena Jones" throws up 11,100 results. Most of these are the same letter I received going back many months. For someone who has seven days to go, Serena has bounced back many times. Perhaps religion helps but I'd suspect something a bit less mystical.

DEAR PHIL PARKER
THANK YOU VERLY MUCH I UNDERSTAND YOU BECAUSE THIS IS
HAD TO BELIVE, LET ME TELL YOU GOD HAD CHOOESING YOU
BUT DONT LET THE DEVIL TO UES YOU.AND I HAVE NOT SEND
THIS TO ANY BOBY ONLY YOU THAT HAVE THIS MY LETTER.AND
ALL THE DOCUMENT FOR THIS FUNDS ARE WITH ME. AND
WITHOUT THIS NO BOBY CAN PUT CANIN TO THIS FUNDS, SO
IF YOU ARE ABLE TO HELP LET ME KNOW.BECAUSE I BELIVE
THAT GOD WHO SENT YOU TO ME,IS ABLE TO DO ALL THING.

MOTHER SERENA

The manic capitalisation is "Serena's". As an agent of the devil it's obvious that I'm the wrong person to take advantage of the deal...

Serena

I don't believe you are a Christian at all. The truth is you are an agent of Beelzebub ! You say you have never sent the letters to any Boby but it's not just people called Boby you have sent them to. You have been profligate with your offers and as such are little more than a cheap strumpet.

God has plainly sent you to me so I can expose your evil intent. You plainly intend to take money from me for this "document" that is proffered but never provided. Did the lord not say "Let those who proffer but not provide go out into the desert forever until they repenteth their crimes " (Lambeth Ch4 V7). I hope you cease this charade and pray for your mortal soul as I and my church will pray for you. Many are chosen but few bother to reply. Perhaps I was the one.

Think on evildoer, think on.

P

Well if she can go all religious then so can I. For those not versed in the Good Book, Lambeth is an area of London and unlikely to be a book in the bible. It's always quite fun when you challenge these scam artists as they are getting used to it and grasp at straws to try and keep you on board.

that was the mail i sent to him. he was not a
christian,so i now decided to contact you ok but if
you dont want then live, do you have money, dont think
you have money,no you dont and i dont need your money,
bye

OK, now we are just not making any sense at all. The first sentence seems to indicate that this mail was meant to be sent to someone else, perhaps the person in charge of the scammers ? The end could be taken as an admission that this was all a scam. "i don't need your money", but I thought Serena had offered me money, not the other way around. Ho, Hum. Looks like no free cash for my good works then.

Anyway, I took a couple of weeks off and sent, just for the sake of it:

Hello Serena

Are you still there ?

P

and was not entirely suprised to recieve:

Dear son
thank you for remembering me sorry for not geting back to you since is because i was verly sick that is why i have not be able to to contact,this is my pic that i am sending to you now, please by monday i will be sending to you letter of agreement for you to sign and
send it back to me as soon as porssible with that i can now send to you all orther document that you will be needed to contact the company, but please do not forget to call my lawyer his number is 0031-630-854-650) email(steven_paulson2000@yahoo.com)his name is steven paulson

thanks
mother serena

Now Serena is not my mother and I am not her son. And she is not dead even though she promised to be by now. The next day I got two e-mails:

Dear Phil Parker
this is the letter of authorization that authorizes you the sole beneficiary of this my consignment, i will be sending to you all orther document that you will be needed to contact the securities company

Thank you so much may God bless you and your family
Mother Serena

Lo, my In-box is cluttered with this letter. Pretty impressive huh ? You might be busy thinking this isn't a scam at all. You would be as stupid as a cabbage if you do but never mind. Anyway I also recived:

Dear Beloved,
These are the neccessary documents that you need to back up your self to put claim to the consignment in the Security Company. with this documents you dont have any problem at all, just contact the Company right away and tell them that you are the Sole Beneficiary of the consignment deposited with them.

N.B- The Company's contact address is
info_pinacles@financier.com

and I get these letters.

which appear to be remarkably bad forgeries. I conveyed my thanks to Serena:

Serena

Thank you for cluttering up my mailbox with some of the most inept forged documents it has ever been my mis-fortune to see. I appreciate that in Nigeria you may have difficulty in getting hold of a decent scanner but you are really going to have to try harder. As a general rule, the document and the text additions you make must be as fuzzy as each other. Yours are not. A small child could spot the alterations with its eyes half closed.

If we are to extract the money from the country as part of this scam I am going to need to pass these documents over to a proper graphic artist to improve them significantly. Fortunatly I know someone who can do the job, however this will be an added expese as he will need to be cut in on the deal. Looking on the positive side, at least it gives us the opportunity to replace the red star seal with some proper ones.

Anyway, I'm going to need to see the colour of your money at this point. If you can give me details of your bank account BY FAX, I will take out some money to start covering my bills.

My fax number is 0500 82285 - you will need to add the international dialing code to this - 0044.

I await your reply, and please, no more pictures or documents until I say so. For someone on deaths door you really do seem active.

P

No mails so far but then she is veeerrrrrryyyy ill so I guess the poor dear can barely get to a keyboard...

 

Notes: These letters are genuine and were sent and received in October 2003.